Thursday, November 25, 2010

TRUNDLE: A Troll or A Troll

There are two camps of opinion on the new hero, Trundle. Some say he is definitely a troll while others say he is just a troll. This is complex matter as some say Trundle is a troll name and some say Trundle is a name for a troll. The issue is further complicated when factoring in a history of Trolls from riot. There has been no trolls before, could this be the first troll or is it a troll?
What is your LoLTheorist's view of the situation? I take firm stance on the matter. I say he is a troll.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


This weekend I have received 40 plus emails regarding my current champion selection. Yes the rumors are true: I have started a long series of rapes with Karthus.

Are you critting with Karthus? No. You have noticed I have broken the golden LolTheorist rule of ABC (Always Be Critting) but I am also a pioneer of LolTheory and so I will venture into new territory and claim it as my own.

Is YOUR Requiem (Requiem for a Team directed by Birds McCoy) more devastating than the movie (Requiem for a Dream)? Let's just say that Poppy and Annie not only went ass-to-ass, they went ass-to-mouth and then got slowed and killed by my AOE.

Which came first Requiem for a Dream or Requiem for a Team?
Well you tell me, which came first: The chicken or the egg?

-Birds McCoy

Saturday, October 9, 2010

When to SURRENDER ? A Guide

Are you a surrender noob? It is okay, I have seen one hundred plus.
First and foremost, you can surrender at 17 minutes in 3s. Don't worry about the minimum surrender time for 5s because if you find yourself waiting for that you are the biggest noob and will probably get your nexus destroyed soon anyway.
When you have good crittance on your team, don't surrender - crittance is an investment in the mid and end game. Once that infinity edge is poppin and the enemies are getting their tails crit, you may witness a large swing in momentum. That's the only strat you need to worry about now, because if you ain't crittin, you ain't shit.

No critters? Surrender.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The rumours are TRUE: SWAIN is BASED on your local league EXPERT and BLOGGER!

Rumors have swirled about in the LoL Community ever since the announcement of Swain: The Master Tactician. Is it just a coincidence that this new champ has a Bird on his shoulder and is also master of tactics and theory? No. It is indeed based on the LoL Theorist and his original sub-title was "Swain: The LoL Theorist". Due to copyright reasons, it had to be changed (and also his lore editted).

Thanks anyway Riot!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

One Flawless Victory: The Strategy That is 17/0 (...And Counting)

Today I reveal the Flawless Victory Strategy, courtesy your local league expert - Birds McCoy.

EDIT: after careful deliberation with Clan Sumeet, I have decided that this loltheory must have restricted access. All I'd like from you guys is to email me with a pic of your lolclient that includes your name and level and wins/losses.  Or contact me in lolgame at Birds McCoy. 

This loltheory is elusive and highly sought-after, so bare with me while I try to find a way to reveal these secrets for free.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Miss Fortune: Bounty Hunter or Master Theif? +A New Item! (LoL Forum Choice Post)

Miss Fortune has the never before seen ability to steal abilities from other champions.

She stole Teemo's Move Quick and renamed it Strut.
She stole Pantheon's Spear Shot and Katarina's Bouncing Blade and combined them into one ability.
She stole Katarina's old Killer Instincts, Gangplank's passive AND Tristana's Rapid Fire to create one monster of a lol i autoattack u steroid.
She stole Gangplank's ultimate, but because she's a woman she can't handle the mighty RNG and doesn't have the strength to fire it globally.
She stole Twitch's ultimate, but she has two guns instead of a single crossbow so her version of it is channeled and covers more area.

So as you can see, Miss Fortune is so unoriginal that she's actually original in her ability to steal from other champions. Thus, 6300 IP. I'm surprised she wasn't 12600 IP so that she could further prove her worth as a thief.

In other news, all of our favorite heroes are getting nerfed and there is also a new item called MANAMUNE
  • Recipe consists of Tear of the Goddess + Long Sword + 500 recipe cost.
  • + 350 Mana
  • + 7 Mana Regen per 5 seconds
  • + 20 Attack Damage
  • UNIQUE Passive: 2% of your maximum mana is converted to attack damage.
  • UNIQUE Passive: Whenever your champion attacks, they gain 1 max mana (2 second cooldown.) Whenever your champion uses an ability, they gain 4 max mana (3 second cooldown.) Bonus mana caps at 1000.
looks like you might be able to do a rape with it!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Discussign the Newest Champion. Also a link to the LEAGUE OF LEGENDS website!

Now that Lady Fortune has arrived, Urgot has been forgotten as he is no longer the newest hero. This syndrome was also suffered by Gaylio, and somehow even Vlad.

The buzz on Lady Fortune is that Gangplank (who has been known to hit a crit with his parley and also apply on-hit affects) will factor into her Story. This will give the pirate a better integration into the lore, which is a relief for Gangplank players out there.

Word is however, this latest hero may have a passive ability that proves to be quite sassy:

Strut (Passive): Miss Fortune gains an additional 25 movement speed after falling out of combat for 7 or more seconds, increasing each second up to 80 maximum bonus speed.